TALKER OR DOER 

2014-10-31 18.36.57

There are so many facets to human nature. It is amazing how different, yet alike we are. I’ve just recently noticed how differently people approach doing something new, or just taking action in general. I’ve always been very proactive myself, but have never thought of myself as such, until I was trying to exercise my usual course of action with a friend that wasn’t.  I do admit to being perhaps overly proactive and it might be good for me to learn from my friend. My friend is a talker. This trait of his is very helpful in his career, he’s a journalist. I’m not trying to ascertain whether either of the two human traits is better to posses, I consider them equally important. My goal is to engage myself, as well as the reader, in constructive contemplation, thus joining the two approaches in more of a ‘middle way’ fashion.

Being a doer means you are usually not over thinking your actions if at all, it normally involves a very dynamic life, with constant changes to your environment as well as yourself, lots of travel, new people, jobs, situations, approaches, knowledge… This kind of constant involvement in life assures a very interesting and adventurous one, yet it might also imply encountering and facing numerous problems, obstacles , hardships, headaches and inconsistencies. Doers are certainly never bored, but perhaps a bit more often faced with: “Why did I do that?” question. Doing itself, is just a mechanic action and bears no significance unless observed and/or evaluated with its accompanying set of emotions. Yes, doers feel all that they do. That might be called ‘a little downside’ of taking all the action and embarking upon adventure after adventure. I think an example is appropriate. Imagine doing this in approximately 6 month time period: starting an unusual relationship, quitting your job, moving to a friend’s house, travelling, moving oversees, travelling there and trying to establish yourself, than deciding that won’t work and moving to an island in the middle of the pacific ocean only to start over again, establishing a life there while at the same time reinventing yourself and choosing a new career path, loosing a dear friend and deciding at the same time to end the relationship you started six months ago (not to mention a million little things that go along with such course of action). Now try to imagine all the emotion that goes along this kind of lifestyle. Although I don’t have regrets, could have, should have or would have thoughts to think about, there are occasional headaches and heartbreaks, as well as loss of sense of direction, I have to deal with from time to time.

Talkers normally have a more steady lifestyle, with little ups and downs, and a somewhat predictable day-to-day experience as well as their future, thus going about their business with more ease and familiarity. They normally don’t like too much change and feel comfort in knowing exactly what their daily involvement in life entails. They still have to face life challenges, unfortunately those can not be evaded in space and time, just maybe not as often due to less exposure to change and new experiences, though sometimes that can be a headache of its own. They might not pride themselves in an adventurous lifestyle, but take comfort and joy in their routine. They do make changes, usually after thorough examination, research and lot of talk to friends, family and experts. Talkers rarely relocate, at least not due to a desire for change, but perhaps a more appropriate reason: a new career opportunity, thus normally have more friends and family members around. The downside of being a talker might be the; could have, should have or would have feeling, but not necessarily. That doesn’t mean that talkers don’t do. Quite the contrary, my talker friend is a doer as well; he specializes in one specific subject, which he writes about by traveling to roughly twenty different countries, but same cities, year after year. He makes up for it at home, by leading a very ‘uneventful’ family life. It is quite an adventurous career with a familiar path, thus probably less painful and more comforting. Although quite content, my friend does have a few regrets, but not too many headaches.

For the sake of the argument, I painted a pretty black and white picture. There are many shades of grey out there, equally worth of mentioning and interesting to observe. For the obvious reasons the ‘men in black’ or the ‘men in white’ are those that stand out in the grey crowd. I wonder whether I will become more of a talker and my friend more of a doer as time goes by. Will regrets, heartbreaks, headaches or dullness change us or will we continue to be the way we are and have always been? Either way, the world would be a very boring place if there wasn’t such diversity of character and personality. It is probably there so we could learn from each other and at least occasionally, implement a different point of view or gain a vantage point by doing something unusual, something that is not like us at all. Isn’t it great to surprise yourself from time to time? If you are not able to answer my question, I dare you; please, try it!

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