We humans love drama. We will search high and low to find it, it gives spice to our mundane daily existence. One of our favorite dramas is ‘the soul mate issue’. They are our reality, not just a figment of our imagination, they are and will be there until the end of time. At least this ‘issue’ is a romantic one.
We read about, we heard about it, we dreamt about it and we are all searching for it, even if we didn’t or don’t realize it. We told tales about it. We made movies about it. We have idioms about it: love at first sight, true love, one and only… But do we really know what it means? And lastly, in the light of all eternity, does it really matter?
Like anything in this world of duality: yes and no. First of all, when referring to a soul mate, we usually ideally depict one person that completes us, makes us whole, loves us even on our bad hair days and most importantly: loves us unconditionally. So far, we have perhaps, never known unconditional love. It most often happens we have felt it for our children, our parents or siblings, though not necessarily. But have we ever loved ourselves that way?
Albeit we think we know what unconditional love is, most of us have not ever loved ourselves, a family member or a partner in that way. We might even have more than one soul mate out there at the moment. Rare but possible, that makes things even more confusing, for an already confused human mind. So it seems we are striving for impossible: we wish to love with the kind of love we don’t know of and we do not know who to direct it to.
Let me tell you my story. I have four soul mates that I know of incarnate at this moment. Three of them I met, had great time with, but I knew that I did not need to pursue those relationships. I already loved them unconditionally before we even met. I loved them so when I first saw them, recognized them and I love them now equally.
Then I met my fourth soul mate. Lets call him Number 4. That is my number, thus even greater the significance. How do I know he was my soul mate? I was shown. One night, not long after I met Number 4, I had a vision. We were about to fall asleep, our room was completely dark, when suddenly, although I had my eyes closed, the room started growing brighter and brighter.
It was the kind of light I clearly remembered from some of my previous out-of-body experiences, the one that was not of this world. I opened my eyes only to find darkness, but when I’d close them, the light was as bright as the Sun. I was suddenly not in my body anymore. I was a part of that light, as playful and happy as I could be. I felt divinely. I was divine, as well as we all are in truth.
I realized Number 4 was a part of that same ray of light. We were coming down together from somewhere above. We were perfectly happy and playful, quite blissful while coexisting as one. I knew all his thoughts and feelings, we thought them as one, we were one in that light. We were one light.
Somewhere close to the end of our downward journey he decided to split from me, from the ray of light we both were. Little by little he was coming out of it. While still in the process, although still happy, I started to feel the pain of separation and the anxiety of not recognizing my brother of light anymore. By the time Number 4 completely separated from me and stood opposite of me, all recognition was gone and fear crept in. The separation was horrible, almost intolerable.
“Who are you?”, I asked him.
“I don’t know”, he answered. “I know I took everything you didn’t want in you. All those feelings and thoughts you suppressed and decided not to feel and experience. All that you classified as negative and didn’t want anything to do with. I want that darkness, I want to experience it.”
“What does this mean?” I was trying to make some sense of what had just happened.
Then it occurred to me: “I just observed him splitting from me. Oh my God, he is one of my soul mates! The first one, actually.” That was even more puzzling. “Why don’t I feel absolutely madly in love? Shouldn’t I? Why don’t I love this part of me?” All this was really confusing to me. Even love wasn’t what I imagined it to be here. I didn’t really know what to think.
An answer came years later. Just as with anything else in this space and time continuum, we crucify ourselves as well as our soul mates. They love us even if they have never met us, even if it doesn’t make sense and most importantly, we do not need to do anything to win their love, it is there, because we have placed it there. It is ours and no one and nothing can take it away, until the end of this space and time. When we know this and we have already experienced it, we do not need to do it again. We can let them go. Sometimes, as the case with Number 4, we need to love ourselves unconditionally first. Ahhhh! Now, that could be a problem?
Sometimes instead of incessantly searching for a soul mate, we have to learn how to love someone not of our soul, equally. It’s easy to love a soul mate, but what about our fellow human? What about just anyone? What about someone completely different? That is the real challenge, the true test of our love for ourselves.
Only and only when we manage to do that, do we really know love, we really know ourselves and accept ourselves. It is not necessarily a romantic relationship. It could be a parent, a child, a neighbor, a coworker, it could be anyone. But it is only possible if we love ourselves unconditionally first.
Last, but not the least, don’t beat yourself up for not being quite there yet. Time doesn’t exist. The Universe is patient. And you literally have all the time in the world to achieve this. So don’t judge yourself, don’t be harsh, be kind and loving, from you to you, from you to your soul mate, from your soul mate to any human being and from anyone back to you.
If you were lucky enough to experience this yourself for yourself and thus another, please talk about it. Tell it. Spread it. One day someone who might need to hear what you have to say will be there and you will contribute by opening up. Love is here to share, to multiply and to create. We are love, it is our essence and no matter how much we try to deny it, we can not live without it.
To conclude, before we turn the world inside out in search of this ‘unattainable’ love, look inside. You don’t need to wait for your soul mate. You are your first soul mate anyway. Do you love yourself unconditionally? Do you even know what it means? If you do, then it will eventually manifest in the world of men. If not, no big deal. Roll up your sleeves and get to work. It is never too late. Never. This universe is of your creation and your creation only. It will be a loving one for you as well, if you start with yourself, a soul mate or not a soul mate in sight.
I believe in you and I love you.